In my teens, I felt stuck, not knowing where I was going. I wasn’t very confident – I could fake it – but that was all. Thus, when the time came after high school to decide what I wanted to pursue in life, I felt totally lost. I didn’t know what I wanted.
I decided to do Business. And after only five months, I quit. It was the wrong way for me. At least, I learned that I wanted to work with people. That’s when I decided to become a doctor.
I wanted it very much, but failed to pass the entry exam for medicine in Belgium and was also rejected in Germany. Out of options I started another study. The year passed and I not only failed that study but also failed the entry exam for medicine again. My self-esteem at that point in life was at rock bottom. And it did not help that – out of pure misery – I had applied for dentistry in Germany and got accepted.
I felt like a total failure. I felt like I was not smart enough to do medicine so I had to do a ‘lesser’ job. Do a cosmetic work. After a while I realized how much I loved it. How I loved the interaction with patients, the work with my hands, the planning that goes into getting the best possible outcome for your patient. And I wasn’t half bad. I did not struggle more than the other students in my year. Slowly, very slowly, I started to build some confidence again. Finally I was doing something that I loved.
The thing about me, though, is that I love doing more than one thing. I have always had multiple passions, dreams and ideas coming at once, that keep me occupied and busy. So, after a while I wanted to perfect my life around my passions. And that’s when I imagined my life in 10 years.
I imagined ALL aspects of my life:
family, lovelife, where I would want to live, how my house would look like, how I had managed to combine writing this blog with being a fulltime dentist. Even giving speeches about making dentistry greener! I imagined that I would be an online influencer, by being the best possible example myself.
I really went all out and pictured it as perfect and grand as possible.
After I had thought about it for quite a while (this process can take more time than simply sitting down and knowing what you want after only ten minutes) I had two scenarios in my head: 1) I had created my perfect day within this dream life and 2) I had imagined a speech I would be giving to inspire others and share about my journey.
The life you are creating in your mind is something very personal and you do not have to share it with anyone. Do not be influenced by someone else. Ask yourself: What is important to me? What passions, values or ideas do I want to incorporate? How can I combine my work, my hobbies and passions with my family? Take as much time as you need. Be as detailed as possible. As I said before, this process did take me quite some time, in total maybe at least a month. The more you imagine about what you want to incorporate and the more precise you are, the more likely it is going to stick.
So, how to start? As I said before, I had 2 scenarios. Start with one: Write down your perfect day in your perfect life. It could look like this:
Every morning my husband and I get up at 5AM, drink our coffee in peace at the dining table while writing or reading. Then I put on my running shoes and go for a run with our family dog. At 6:30AM I wake up the kids, we all make breakfast together and then we drop off the kids at school while me and my husband go to work…
This is the start to my perfect day, yours may look totally different.
The other possibility is that you think about a speech or interview you are going to give AFTER you have made it. It is not like “fake it until you make it”, no, you just envision the best possible outcome and how you will feel when you have finally achieved your goal. Picture being on stage. How you tell about your struggles, how you pushed through them, worked your a** off, failed a lot of times, how you learned from those failures, but never quit. Feel those emotions. Feel that tingly feeling you get when you achieve something. How proud you are going to be. Visualize this process.
Now it is your time to create your dreamlife. As I said, take your time, know what you want.
In my next post we will create our priorities together to take action and get closer to our goals.
PS: If you want to find out more about creating your dreamlife, I really recommend to go and check out Lavendaire! She is an awesome influencer on youtube and her content is really inspiring.